Get a Job!

All aboard the unemployment bus!

Once upon a time, I remember when I had everything going my way. I was employed and life was zipping along. After a long day of work, I loved to go on the computer. A favorite stop was to visit a place called Facebook. I remember I had friends on Facebook and people posted about movies they loved and posted pictures of their lovely pets. Oh life was grand!

Facebook…a place to argue and spread political hate!

Now days, my trip to Facebook is a time of stress and apprehension. It is a time to read arguments of people calling each other “Libertards” and “Republitards”. It is a time to see people who once you viewed as kind and moral spew their venom over their hatred towards others. Most of the time, I feel like just pulling the plug and maybe going back to Myspace where I can chat with the 4 or 5 hold outs.

One of the things that makes me real crazy on Facebook is the people who complain about the poor people who are not working and they reason that more people are on welfare now thanks to Obama. Well, here is my platform to hopefully educate these yahoos on what is really going on out there.

First, let’s talk about me. I am a registered Republican. I worked in management positions for the same company for over 15 years. Before that, guess what? I was in a management position. I am a Christian. I volunteer in a wonderful job placement agency. Finally, I have to point out that on my annual appraisals, it was noted that I would go through years without ever calling in sick. Yes, I was more reliable than 90% of the employees that worked for the same company. I have never been arrested.

So I am the perfect candidate for employment. Yet, I have been unemployed for over a year. This is where the angry Facebookers become derailed. They can not understand why someone can be unemployed when they are not.

Let me explain my situation. Do I want to work? Of course! I do like to eat you idiots. I also would rather work and get a paycheck as compared to sending out hundreds of resumes and going to job fairs. But you see, I can not just walk into a business and sit my butt down in front of a computer and announce that I am the new manager. I have to be hired and that involves getting through an online pre-screening process and then getting past an angry Human Resource manager and a few others.

You forgot to order my favorite soup!!! NO HIRING FOR TODAY!!!

So what goes wrong? At some point, you abandon your dreams of being hired as CEO and you have to downsize your aspirations. So I apply for something that would be considered entry-level to get my foot in the door. One day the phone rings!

Hello Mr. Lemon! I see you applied for the position of toilet scrubber! Let me look at your…wait! MR. LEMON! You know you would be better suited for the job of Toilet Flow Director! Let me schedule you an interview with the CEO!

One month later comes the pay off e-mail…”We are sorry Mr. Lemon. We chose an internal candidate to fill the position. Thanks for the time you spent here as we strung you along!”

So now I manged to interview for one position and lose two.

Now let’s forget about Mr. Lemon for a few and go into the next phase. Remember I said I volunteer at an organization? Let me tell you about this!

Where I volunteer, I work with countless individuals who do not own a computer. They do not have a résumé. They know nothing about finding “keywords on the job description” and saving a file to their desktop. These folks are not facing a rosy future. Especially since the days of walking the streets looking for a “Help Wanted” sign are almost over. These people cover the gamut of every walk of life.

Recently, I had to help an elderly lady fill out an application for food stamps. She has 26 dollars in her bank account. She is a widow. She worked as a care giver in various hospitals but now she could not pass the testing exam. She said that now the nurses bring hand-held devices to access patient files online. Should this old bum not get welfare and get a job?

If you really want to see the unemployment numbers drop, help out your friend who is struggling or give to the local charity. Posting Facebook rants will only make you seem to be what you are…and not solve anything.


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