Back in my more youthful days, my trusty skateboard was perhaps my biggest mode of transportation. I rode the board everywhere and all the time as I was pushing down the sidewalk, I was transported in my mind to some tropical beach with a giant, clean, walled-up wave. In order to tackle this big wave, I had to grind every edge of the sidewalk and pop ollies like some spastic kangaroo on crack.
Nowadays, I am an old geezer so I can just drive to my fancy skate park of choice. Lately though, as I have peered out of my protective windshield, I have noticed a horrible trend amongst those unfortunates who can not drive like myself. It is a trend I call the skate purse!
You see, a skateboard is made to do tricks upon while you are pushing it. That is why it has 4 wheels. Sadly, some kids have not signed off on the memo on the correct usage of their vehicle. You see, as I drive by the young lads, I can only manage to sneer at the sight of groups of pubescent skinny jeans wearing kids, walking together with their skateboards tucked protectively under their arms. Sorry chaps! That board is meant to ride upon…to swerve through pedestrians, to scare dogs on leashes…not to be tucked under one’s arm like a Coach bag!
“But Mr. Lemon! I have pals without boards. What do I do?”, you ask. Simple! You skate ahead and then stop and skate back and then talk to them. Ensure you are still doing the kick flips, grinds, slides, etc.
I certainly hope that the youth of the world sees this and understands that a skateboard is meant to be a vehicle to transport you to a far away dream wave. It is not a fashion accessory.
So kids…grab your friends, and shoot down a narrow street and scare the bejezus out of some elderly folks!
Ahhhhhhhh…kids after my own heart.